My fingers hurt.

'She moves so smooth just like a dove, yes i think i fell in love, spread your wings all up above ... and glide for me babyy and glide for me baby.'

Ahoy hoy neighbourino's.
Just yesterday i woke up really late like at 3pm, (pretty much the best time to wake up imo) and stumbled into my study to go on the computer, too my surprise there are all these computer parts on the floor and a tower squat bang in the middle of the room. confused, i asked father where he found all this junk (being the stingy asian he is, i just thought he looted it from a second hand store or outside someones house).

It turns out we were harboring a fugitive in the apartment my father owns and he fled the state, so we get to keep whatever he left. Which included a computer, guitar, a hair straightener and a dvd player. it was absolutely WIN, it was like my father was making up for the last 4 years of Christmas presents. i've been wanting a guitar for about 2 weeks now and now one just randomly pops up from out of no where and now im trying to learn how to play. God is good.

okaley dokeley.
-Dang Nam Van Quang Tran aka Gossip girl (its a secret)
Who's fingers manning up.

Eww aliens.

'could you stay one time for love, i am a foolish man, i cant feel something and hold it in so don't be a foolish girl, just think about me i hope you dont want to be without me'

I watched district 9 the other day. Oh dear, that movie is absolutely bonkers.
The aliens are disgusting and feral, reminding me of a dodgey ethnic group that plagues Australian society, not naming any names or hinting at anything but i assume you know the group im talking about. It's a good movie, supposedly the best movie to have come out this year if your into watching movies cause they have good reviews. It is supposed to a metaphor about how the white people colonized south Africa and how there black counterparts were treated and abused, through the use of media etc.

Good ole English classes, teaches you something about technical codes and themes and
blessed us with the ability to think outside the box and utilize our right to free speech.

Dang Nam Van Quang Tran
-Can never look at a prawn the same ever again
'what is today but yesterdays tomorrow' - Mr. Krabs

Everything i've worked for when i changed is gone.

'it was a moment of weakness, but you should've said no, you should have gone home, you should have thought twice before you let it all go, you should've had me at the back of your mind, you should've said no and you might still have me'

what can i say to change what has happened.
im reverting to the life style i worked so hard to stay out of, everything i've worked for has come crashing down around me and i dont know what to do. i cant seem to pick myself up and bounce back. once its all said and done i cant do anything about it and must take responsibility.

so what happens now? i start going back into bad habits and cry because of it. i cant look anyone in the eyes anymore because of the shame. pretty sure im gonna live in my house for the rest of my life and not know what the sun looks like for a while. shelter the hurt from the world and move on, regret what happened and know that i have to move on and leave all that would be hurt behind. but its hard and i feel terrible because of it, i dont know why im blogging it but yeah.

sorry for the rant.
Dang Nam Van Quang Tran - the hermit.

Bittersweet

"i know im laughing on the car ride home with you, i dont know how long its gonna take for me to feel okay, but i had the best day.. with you ... todayy"

i was meant to blog a couple of days ago because someone told me too but yeah i havnt found the time or the motivation up until now.
As for the title:
Have you ever been helpless and distraught about something that if you had prepared for would never have occured? as the time keeps ticking you keep putting it off knowing full well that unless its completed you will never stop worrying about it. up until the moment when you cant do anything because the event is due knowing full well that you had the power to see it finshed just couldnt find the extra push to convince your resolve to see its completion. it leaves you sad, worried, stressed, angry ... all characteristics of Bitter.

How about the opposite, when you have been worried about thing for so so long and you have been preparing for the worst and someone turns around and says "look here, all your hard work you've done has been well worth it, you've reaped what you've sown, all your effort has born fruit, congratulations" up until that moment its been eating at your soul, niggling at your conscience only to disappear leaving you appreciated, unburdened, joyful and fufilled. This is what i would call Sweet.

But what if you felt them both at the same time? how do you cope with the two extremes, its difficult, but knowing that you cant complain because its one of the greatest feelings in your life. knowing you may never feel the same again as well because this is one of the low points in your life. all thats left to do is sigh and move on with your life and stop dragging your feet, trying to cope with a smile :) Bittersweet: how cliche'

xo xo gossip girl